good morning

another slow, slow day at work.

i've been recently re feeding into my obsession with john mayer and came across his blog. he is such a great person, i have to share this excerpt from his blog here.

'This is about a level of self consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.

This is about the girl in her bedroom who poses in front of the camera she's awkwardly holding in her outstretched hand. She'll take a hundred photos until coming up with one she's happy with, which inevitably looks nothing like her, and after she's done poring over images of herself, will post one on her myspace page and then write something like " I don't give a f*ck what you think about me."

...

This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything.

And I think I'm done with that. I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we're all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.

And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain't gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he's following ain't gonna be Bob Dylan. It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.

What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.

Root for others.

Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.

Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.

And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you. '

cool shit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_z-shZL1KU

haha

andy

my life dream

i want to move to california, do drugs, and play guitar all day.

hello summer

this time of the year again, where guidance is needed most, where all expectations and attention is hanging delicately from the edge of a cliff.

classes are over and the lull of summer, fit snug between the frantic week of cramming for exams and the foreign routine of working a 9 to 5 job, is about to come to an end. and not a moment too soon. the past two weeks, having nothing accomplished, have gone by in a heartbeat. and the entire time in the back of my head, i always felt as if i had another day, another hour to sit idly, staring into my computer screen into bits of data and information gathered from all across the world in what we know as the internet. what a theatrical way to procrastinate even the smallest tasks we have, huh?

i haven't written in this blog in a long ass time. i apologize to my readers, all three of them. you know who you are.

this past year has been a learning experience, as it always is. it is funny how life never stops for anyone, but it is up to yourself to step aside to evaluate the situation objectively. and it is so great that we can always pick ourselves up from our mistakes and continue learning--no, growing--as individuals. this is life; we are not perfect, and there is always room for improvement.

first and foremost, i am going to miss all of the graduates dearly. everyone who i met through akpsi and eventually got to know even better this past semester. ingrid told me that when people graduate into the working life, they just disappear from earth completely. i am going to try extra hard to keep in touch. seriously.. how hard could it be with facebook's multi-stalking features?

but seriously, i had a great time with everyone. too bad i was unable to make the graduation, but i had to go home to maryland to pick up my passport and to see my sick mom. i don't think it has hit me that i won't be seeing these 'seniors' next year at meetings and just around tisch hall in general. i mean, i chilled at ingrid's place last night, i saw jennifer today.. it's going to be a weird adjustment.

i only have about 5 more days until my 10 week rotational internship program begins at mastercard.

+ rotational internship
+ $500/week
- is in westchester

yeah, the commute is going to be a real pain in the ass. whatever, i'll deal with it.

thats it.

andy