george w. bush's sick, twisted game

last night, while baking my special cookies, i turned on the daily show to watch jon stewart's take on why bush says the things he says.

we have all seen and heard jokes aimed towards bush's lack of eloquence. in fact, there are several sites out there solely devoted to bush quotations that reveal his idiocy. at first (maybe in middle school), i would defend bush: 'everybody says stupid shit sometime. you can't expect someone to be on their toes with everything he says. its just that the media covers him so much that if we are nitpicky, we can find flaws.'

however, bush's lack of competence has really proven itself true in the previous four years. but is there a reason why he chooses to 'sound retarded'? bush is the president--he must be suffering severe damage to his frontal lobe if he doesn't think the entire liberal domain of america is mocking his poor command of the english language. so he, or his ivy league educated speech writers, must be playing a sick game with the liberals in this country.

before i address bush's sick game, let me remind you that the majority of america (when i say 'majority of america,' i mean the majority of america's voting power) is old, white, and conservative. they reside in what i will refer to as 'middle america'--the large, open space between the east coast and the west coast. people who live in middle america have everything pre-packaged for their consumption; they shop at wal-mart, don't remain in contact access with the internet, watch fox news, and therefore do not interact with 'the world' (of course they are still interacting with the world, but i suppose when i use 'the world', i am talking about keeping updated with the world news; that is another issue i will address at a later time). pretty much whatever they see on tv, they will believe. whether it is the faith instilled to them in the form of religion or through example of their parents during their childhood, generations after generations will blindly follow the institutions known as the church and the government. flatly, they don't think for themselves.

now, bush, that sick, sick genius, preyed on this information for his personal financial gains. he knew that in order to gain support to invade iraq for its oil, he had to establish a rapport with his middle american supporters. and how exactly did he establish that rapport? he talked like a retard. the lemmings that live in middle america don't want a smart president; they want a president that they can have a beer with, a president that they can relate to. when the president constructs a sentence with redundant clauses, that isn't the president showing his idiocy to the liberals: thats him trying to communicate to middle america. and not only that, the emergence of fox news being conservative propaganda (if you don't think fox news is biased, check out this; if you don't want to read through all that text, watch this short video as it reveals fox's absurd ignorance and narrow-mindedness). so people in middle america will watch fox and believe whatever fox tells them. sad, i know. but its even more sad that middle americans probably don't think fox is 'propaganda' material at all.

jon stewart views the president's inability to speak to the smarter individuals as his 'struggle to bring higher thought to the masses'. so hilariously true.

stewart talks about how bush uses the phrase 'in other words' in many of his speeches. he says that generally, the phrase 'in other words' is used when the speaker doesn't expect the audience to understand him. stewart says 'but we do understand you; the look on our face is not confusion. it's disbelief.' how can george bush have gotten away with this for so long?

of course this ties into george bush's evil plan to make billions and billions of dollars by deceiving the middle americans who supported him during election times. his speech writers must know what they are doing. george bush is probably this incredibly smart, greedy, soulless man that will sacrifice telling the public the truth for his own financial endeavors. and he has played his role of 'retarded figurehead' so well a few years ago that nobody suspected a thing. but alas, hindsight is twenty/twenty, and not only democrats realize bush's full destruction on american lives and american ideals. we now know the reason for invading iraq was not for WMD's but for OIL. and that bush went to the extent to sacrifice the world trade center just to gain support to explore the middle east (if you haven't yet, watch Fahrenheit 9/11; the bin ladens are big investors in american corporations). if it wasn't for george bush's delicate ploy to 'speak retardedly' to establish rapport with middle americans, then maybe we could've understood his ulterior motives much sooner. smart man, george bush.

on a side note, i saw a clip of neil cavuto's interview with president bush and the entire time was cavuto sucking bush's figurative teat. do you think cavuto really admires george bush that much (enough to get on his knees and open his accepting mouth)? or maybe he gets paid generously for saying nice things to the president (by the way, this interview was aired on fox news)? i cannot decide which of those is more despicable.

regardless, with only 529 days left under george bush's reign, all i can say is: well played, georgie. well played.

-andy